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How can I be more self-confident? Take the celebrity route

Most people lack confidence to some degree. Take them out of their comfort zones and surprise, surprise – they will feel insecure. To confuse things still further, consider this bizarre and unexpected paradox – when people are at their least confident they tend to make the most noise.

This understandable human reaction is intended to disguise the fact that they are not feeling too confident at that particular moment. They will talk too much, raise the sound of their voices and worst case scenario will create problems where none existed.

There is nothing wrong with lacking confidence in such situations.  You are right to feel cautious and consider all the facts before speaking. If you do not have all the answers it is probably best to say so – it does not mean you are weak and others will respect your honesty.

But what about those who feel afraid to speak up at meetings in case people think they are foolish?  What about those who feel terrified to stand up and speak in public? What about those desperate to join in conversations but are afraid to take part?

It’s probably worth pointing out at this stage that some of our greatest celebrities and comedians are amongst the most insecure people on the planet. They force themselves to come alive when they are performing but many totally lack confidence and always need that reassuring applause – so never think you are alone. When you ask – how can I feel more confident? Be assured you are in good company.

So let’s get started. The first step to being that new person starts here, but if you are naturally timid or introverted, you are not about to turn into the world’s greatest show person overnight. You must be prepared to take those baby steps and keep it realistic as part of your powerful positive thinking programme – and then you will be safely and surely en-route to achieving your goals.

We will begin by working on your personal specification – what and who do you want to be. Powerful positive thinking (PPT) means you must use common sense and be realistic when working on this specification because you need to believe that you are already that person. Don’t worry at this stage – I will show you how to reinforce that belief a little later.

Let’s concentrate on the specification first so that we get it right.  Choosing a role model such as a celebrity or a good friend is probably a bad idea. They are unique and so are you. You need to see yourself as your own person brimming with self-confidence, sharing in the debate, not worried about asking questions, standing up perhaps and giving a presentation to an audience. They are loving what you are doing.

Put yourself in situations you are likely to face in life now rather than seeing yourself on a massive stage and see yourself succeeding, see the applause, people coming up to you afterwards and commenting on your performance. Common sense remember – let’s take care of the small stuff before you move on to even greater things.

I hope you are writing all this down in meticulous detail. You can use a PC but it’s not quite so personal. By writing it down you are reinforcing your belief and the universe is getting the message. Read what you have written one more time to make sure you have not missed anything and then totally destroy that message and have faith it will be delivered – it has been. And now you must forget all about it – your order has arrived and you don’t have to keep calling up to make sure.

Your next step is action but before you start implementing a strategy towards becoming a more confident person I want you to consider those celebrities, more nervous than you can ever imagine, psyching themselves up for yet another performance. They have courage and so have you – they know that even if they go on stage and fail – they will be up again the following night and trying again.

That is how performers learn their craft by trying and failing, trying and failing again and again until they get it right. You have that same courage, the universe knows the person you want to be so starting practicing. Volunteer to do small things that put you in public situations and learn from them – people will not think you are stupid, they will admire your bravery and perseverance – and all the time the universe will be slowly be delivering the specification you wrote down and believed in.

As time goes by this belief in yourself will grow a little more and slowly you will become more confident. In the early days try and keep within your comfort zone, if you are no good at telling jokes then don’t try – keep it simple, keep it positive, keep using common sense and you will have the power.

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