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How positive thinking helps beat the group bully mentality

We all want to be part of a group, to be liked and have that sense of belonging, but in our modern world things have changed. We are not talking here about groups such as criminal gangs who promote negativity at every level, attracting the weak and the vulnerable - that’s for another blog.

We are instead talking about everyday groups of individuals who have come together and without realising it have this enormous power to do good or create mayhem and negativity with those who do not share their views – but what happens when you become the victim or target of such groups?

Practicing positive thinking when it looks as if the whole world is against you can be difficult, but if you can embrace it then you will find that you can move on and life will get a whole lot better – positive thinking can give you that strength and later I will show you how.

Peer pressure or going along with the majority view seems to be the norm nowadays, but if you scrape away at the surface you will find that it’s usually down to one or two strong minded individuals who make a lot of noise – and they seem to decide how the rest should think and act and they decide the rules.

They stifle individuality and positive thinking and because these individuals are assertive and in many cases intimidating it’s easy to accept that they must be right and we endorse their opinions as being fact.

We all want to be part of the “in crowd.” Being popular and accepted by others is an understandable life choice. Young people, particularly teenagers searching to establish their own identities, especially feel the need to belong to such groups.

But such situations create negative actions and thinking where like-minded groups seek out those who do not agree with or act like them. Worst case scenario means that those outside the group tend to be the targets. Those in the group turn into bullies and we can see it on social media, at work and in hundreds of different social situations.

This blog is about helping those that are the targets but if you are in such a group and you enjoy gossiping or complaining about other individuals then you are part of a bullying network and you should consider your actions. Bullying is not always about anger and physical attack.

If you are the victim then you have to make a few decisions – you have to decide who you are and you need to be strong. You must not let the expectations and opinions of other people affect your life – it’s not about them, it’s about you.

Yes, it hurts, especially the constant comments and abuse – that’s how bully groups with their feelings of self-entitlement get their oxygen. It’s a real let down when they see no trace of a reaction from you – so if you never react you are getting your own back, believe me.

You can also help your own self esteem by then doing what matters most to you and by doing what makes you feel alive and happy. Decide what will really make a difference in your life, write it down and as you do imagine that you are succeeding and every day it comes a little nearer to fruition – this is positive thinking in practice.

You then have to take action to make your dream materialise but do not be put off by others and disregard their expectations – they are nothing to do with you. There is more to life than pleasing people. There is much more to life than following others. There is so much more to life than what you experience right now. You need to decide who you are for yourself – that’s why positive thinking will help you choose where you are going.

Look around this website and there are plenty of examples of how positive thinking is helping to change lives. If you are really suffering from group abuse I also urge you to take part in our free 30 Positivity course.

But for the moment, I am going to let you into the biggest secret of all. As the group bullies pick on you they are working on the basis that every day they are making you feel a worse and that is how they get their strength.

However, if all they see is a positive person getting on with their life and achieving things that they can only dream of, you begin to create a situation where they lose all their power and you become the winner – not a bully like them – because you’re in charge now.