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Poor Communication, cyber bullying and the gladiator instinct

Over the centuries we have learned to interpret small signals such as body language and tone of voice to fully understand what others are trying to say to us. Most verbal communication is based on the emphasis that people put on certain words and this determines and confirms what we think we are hearing.

During a face to face conversation and when the other person is smiling and relaxed and says something such as “please don’t repeat this or I will have to kill you” you are not offended and most importantly you do not feel threatened.

Write the same words down in an e-mail or and old fashioned letter and they can only mean one thing. Take away the inflection or emphasis, remove the smiles and body language and you will feel that the sender has just put your life at risk.

It’s an exaggerated example but in the digital world of social media where people are quick to take offence on behalf of themselves and others it is easy to see how we continue to get it wrong. In short, we are not very good at communicating with each other when it comes to the written word.

And because we do not always write down what we actually mean and because that message can then be interpreted in many different ways it is understandable that we are now seeing a dramatic rise in cyber bullying and accusations of everything from racism to homophobia and more.

Right now you might be wondering what this has got to do with Powerful Positive Thinking but let’s consider for a moment that tens of thousands of youngsters have been reduced to feeling suicidal by so called friends on social media.

Let’s look at the way careers and reputations have been ruined simply because someone did not check out the message they were sending on the basis that it could be misunderstood – because we are all too busy, too distracted, too quick to be part of the mainstream to read the words we have just typed.

Your message is now out there and you are part of the maelstrom and mob mentality that has arisen as a result. Sadly, we really have not moved that far beyond the need to watch Gladiators battle it out – we want to see blood and we are glad it’s not us on the receiving end.

But what about you, you’re under attack, your self-esteem and confidence feels shattered and if you are a young person with little life experience and you may now be contemplating suicide as the only way out. As low as you feel right now you must start by telling yourself that this is not for ever, life will improve, so called friends will be replaced by better ones in time.

You are a special and unique person – the brightest and best always attract jealousy and discord – and you now have two choices. Let these people beat you or start planning a strategy that will take you to a better place.

Use Powerful Positive Thinking and write down in detail everything that is troubling you. By doing this you will get a clearer picture of the problem and will be putting everything into perspective. Go into as much detail as you can because you are now unloading your worries and the feelings you have for the people who caused the problems.

Vow to forgive those people no matter how badly they have wronged you and then add your strategy for moving to a better place. Ask for help from those you trust and involve them in your strategy – they want you to be happy. Write down the outcomes you desire and where you want to be when this is over

Just by doing this will take your focus to a better place. You are taking action and in a small way – and you can only do this in small steps, gradually, a day at a time – life will improve.

You have asked the universe to take you to a better place and to reinforce that message you must destroy that piece of paper containing your strategy and have faith that your message has been received. The less you can focus on the problem from here on in, the quicker the result.

You have forgiven those that started all this because you are bigger than they are and you will see things starting to change. You are now fighting back and are no longer the victim – vow to keep it that way