There is a strange idea surrounding positive thinking that the more confidently we say something, the more likely it is to become true.

Tell yourself, “I am successful.” Tell yourself, “I am confident.” Tell yourself, “I am happy.”
Tell yourself, “Everything is going to be wonderful.” Repeat those words often enough and somehow your life will change, but what happens when you don't believe a word you're saying?

Your mind knows the difference between a genuine belief and something you are desperately trying to convince yourself is true. Saying “I am confident” when you feel anything but confident doesn't remove the fear. Saying “I am successful” when you are struggling doesn't change the circumstances. 

And telling yourself that everything is perfect when it clearly isn't can create an uncomfortable distance between the life you are living and the life you are pretending to believe in.

That isn't positive thinking. It is pretending. Real positive thinking begins somewhere much more honest.

You don't have to tell yourself that you are fearless. You can acknowledge that you are frightened and still take the next step. You don't have to convince yourself that you are perfect. You can recognise what you want to change and start changing it.

The goal isn't to paint over every negative thought with a positive one. It is to understand the thought, question where it came from and decide whether it still deserves a place in your life.

You don't need to believe the unbelievable. You need to believe that change is possible.