This is where I think positive thinking is often misunderstood. We have become accustomed to the idea that all we need to do is think about what we want, visualise our perfect future, repeat a few affirmations and somehow the Universe will take care of the rest. It sounds wonderful, but there is a rather important ingredient missing.
Thought may be where everything begins, but action is what gives thought a chance to become reality. Every building, business, invention, book and extraordinary achievement began as an idea in somebody's mind. But those ideas didn't become real because their creators sat quietly imagining them. At some point somebody had to make a decision, develop a plan, take a risk and start moving. That is the real relationship between positive thinking and action.
This becomes even more important when life isn't going particularly well. Perhaps you have lost your job, your relationship has ended, your finances are causing you sleepless nights or you simply cannot understand how your life has arrived at a point that feels so far removed from the one you imagined.
When everything seems to be going wrong, being told to "think positively" can be almost insulting. You don't feel positive, so why would you suddenly start feeling differently because somebody tells you to? I don't think that is the answer. The first thing I want you to understand is something far more important:
You are not broken.
You may be struggling. You may be frightened, exhausted, disappointed or completely fed up with the way your life is going. You may have made mistakes and wish you could go back and make different decisions. But none of that means you are broken. This distinction matters enormously.
If you believe you are broken, you naturally start looking for somebody to fix you. If instead you understand that you are going through a difficult period, the question becomes very different. You can begin asking yourself what you can change, what you can control and what you can do next and that is where your power begins to return.
Start With What You Can Change
You don't have to rebuild your entire life in a single afternoon. In fact, trying to do so will probably leave you overwhelmed before you have even begun. Start with something you can control.
Look around your home. If it has become untidy, neglected or simply somewhere you no longer enjoy being, change it. Clear the rubbish. Tidy the room. Open the curtains. Clean the windows. Paint a wall if you can afford it. Move the furniture. Create an environment that feels better.
It may sound like a very small thing compared with the problems in your life, but don't underestimate it. You have made a decision and then acted upon it. You have changed something rather than simply complaining about it. That matters.
Then look at yourself. Have you stopped making an effort because you no longer see the point? Do something about it. Get your hair cut. Buy something new to wear, even if you have to find it in a charity shop. Stand in front of the mirror and decide that you are going to make the best of the person looking back at you. Again, you haven't solved everything, but you have started and sometimes starting is the most important thing you can do.
We have also been taught that motivation must come first. We imagine that successful people wake up every morning full of enthusiasm, knowing exactly what they want and charging towards their goals with enormous confidence.
I don't believe that is how life works. Sometimes you have to act before you feel motivated. You go for the walk and discover that you feel better afterwards. You make the telephone call you have been putting off and suddenly feel that you are back in control. You tidy the house and realise that your surroundings no longer feel quite so depressing. You send the job application and begin to wonder whether losing your previous job might eventually prove to be the opportunity you needed.
Action creates movement. Movement creates possibility and possibility creates hope. That is why you shouldn't sit around waiting for a magical moment when you suddenly feel ready to change your life. You may never feel completely ready. Most people don't. You simply need to take the next step.
What If This Isn't the End?
Imagine losing your job. Your first reaction might understandably be panic. How will you pay the bills? What will happen next? What will everyone think? Those questions are real, but eventually another question has to enter your thinking. What am I going to do now? That single question moves you from looking at the problem to looking for the possibility.
Perhaps you find another job. Perhaps you retrain. Perhaps you finally start the business you have talked about for years. Perhaps you discover a completely different career that you would never have considered while your old life was carrying on exactly as it was. You don't know and that is precisely why you shouldn't automatically assume that the worst thing that has happened to you is the end of your story.
Sometimes an ending is simply an interruption. Sometimes what looks like failure is an invitation to do something completely different and sometimes losing the life you thought you wanted is the beginning of discovering the life you actually deserve.
There will always be things you cannot control. You cannot control other people's behaviour, you cannot change the past and you cannot guarantee that tomorrow will bring exactly what you want, but you can control what you do next. That is an incredibly important realisation.
You can decide whether you remain trapped inside yesterday or start building tomorrow. You can decide whether a setback defines you or simply becomes another chapter in your story. You can decide whether you continue telling yourself that everything is going wrong or start asking what you can do to make something go right.
This is not about pretending that life is wonderful when it isn't. It is about refusing to give your circumstances complete control over your future. You are still here. You still have choices and you can still take action.
Positive Thinking Comes Next
This is when positive thinking becomes really powerful. Once you have started changing the things within your control, you are in a completely different position to begin thinking about the future. You can start visualising what you want rather than continually replaying what went wrong. You can write down your ambitions, create a mood board, use affirmations or adopt whatever techniques help you maintain your focus, but don't confuse the tools with the real work.
The affirmation isn't going to get you the job. The mood board isn't going to build the business. The visualisation isn't going to repair your life. You are the person who has to take the action.
Positive thinking gives you somewhere to go. Action starts taking you there and this is why the idea behind my book You Are Not Broken matters so much. You don't have to become a completely different person before you can create a better life. You don't have to fix every mistake you have ever made. You don't have to wait until you are confident, successful or completely happy. Start where you are. Use what you have. Change what you can. Then take another step.
Perhaps you have spent years believing that something is wrong with you because life hasn't turned out as you expected. Perhaps you have compared yourself with other people and concluded that they have somehow got something you haven't. Stop doing that. You are not broken.
You are a human being trying to find your way through a complicated life. You will make mistakes. You will sometimes lose your direction. You will occasionally fall flat on your face.
That is not failure. That is being human. What matters is what you do next. Because the person you have been trying to fix may never have needed fixing at all. You may simply need to believe that you can change your life – and then take the first step.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. What does “you are not broken” really mean?
It means that struggling, making mistakes or experiencing difficult circumstances does not mean there is something fundamentally wrong with you. You may need to change your circumstances or your approach, but you don't need to become a different person to move forward.
2. Can positive thinking really change my life?
Positive thinking can change the way you approach your life, but thoughts alone aren't enough. The real transformation happens when positive thinking is followed by decisions and meaningful action.
3. Why is taking action so important?
Action turns an idea into something real. You can visualise success for as long as you like, but nothing changes until you actually do something. Even a small action can create movement and give you a greater sense of control.
4. What should I do if I don't feel motivated?
Don't wait for motivation to arrive before you begin. Start with something small and achievable. Often, motivation follows action rather than causing it.
5. How can I start changing my life when everything feels overwhelming?
Don't try to solve everything at once. Identify one thing you can influence today and do something about it. Small changes can restore confidence and create momentum for bigger changes.
6. Does failing mean that I am broken?
Absolutely not. Failure is part of being human. A failed relationship, lost job or bad decision may be painful, but none of these things defines your worth or determines what happens next.
7. What if I have made terrible mistakes in the past?
You cannot change what has already happened, but you can decide what you do with the experience. Learn what you can, accept what cannot be changed and put your energy into the life you can still create.
8. Should I use affirmations and visualisation?
If they help you maintain focus and believe in your possibilities, absolutely. But treat them as tools rather than solutions. Your thoughts need to be supported by action if you want meaningful change.
9. How do I regain control when life feels out of control?
Start by separating the things you can control from those you cannot. You may not be able to change other people's decisions or rewrite the past, but you can control your response and decide what you will do next.
10. What is the first step towards a more positive life?
Stop telling yourself that you are broken. Then choose one thing you can change and act on it. You don't need to know exactly where the journey will end. You simply need to start moving.
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